


Pet Names

by Amber_Brush-English (Amber_Brush)



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Couple Quarrel, Drabble, Ineffable Bureaucracy (Good Omens), Non binary Beelzebub, Other, Pet Names, Quadruple Drabble, They/Them Pronouns for Beelzebub (Good Omens)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-23
Updated: 2019-08-23
Packaged: 2020-09-24 18:56:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20363452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amber_Brush/pseuds/Amber_Brush-English
Summary: Gabriel don't want to be called 'Gabe'.





	Pet Names

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't get this stupid ship out of my head so here we are.

They met Gabriel at a fancy restaurant, as usual. Not the Ritz: it would be really awkward if the two traitors saw them together. Just a lovely Italian place at Coven Garden. And Beelzebub was purposely late. Punctuality was overrated. Also, it infuriated Gabriel, which was always quite funny. 

"Archangel", they saluted him with sarcastical reverence.  
"Fallen", he answered in the same tone of voice.

Even if they were almost an half hour late, Gabriel didn't command anything while waiting for them. He never ate, anyway. He just liked the place - and watching Beelzebub eat, probably. What a weirdo.

"I really don't understand why you absolutely refuse to consume food, Beelzebub commented while savoring their risotto. It'zzz so nice."  
"As I already told you many times before, I don't taint my celestial vessel with gross matter", he answered with a disdainful gesture.  
"Well, you're not very logical, then. Sex with a demon is okay, but food is 'grosszz'? Sometimes, I really don't follow you, Gabe."

The archangel flinched.

"Don't call me 'Gabe'."  
"Don't tell me what to do!", they snapped.  
"Ugh, you're insufferable. I just don't want us to get too… intimate."

Beelzebub smirked. "Too late for that."

Embarrassed, Gabriel pretended to dust his clothes. (He loved clothes, even if he wasn't really supposed to. He didn't want to think about other things that he 'loved but wasn't really supposed to'. Also, love and sex were very different things. Not that he was supposed to have sex either.)

"What I meant was that pet names are off the table."  
"But you call me 'Fallen' all the time.", they pouted.  
"'Fallen' is not a pet name! It's, uh… a description."  
"But I like how you tell me that. It makes me feel…"  
"If you say 'loved', I'm leaving the table", Gabriel warned them.  
"... special."  
"133 306 668 angels Fell, you're not that special, sunshine."  
"How come I don't have the right to call you 'Gabe', but you can call me shit like that? It'zzz so unfair!"  
"It slipped away! Besides, I call everyone who annoys me 'sunshine'. It's ironic."  
"OK so now I annoy you??"  
"You know you do."  
"You're just the worszzt."  
"Look who's talking."

They sat together in silence for a while, pretending to be infuriated at each other.

"If you want to call me 'Gabe' that bad, can I call you 'Bee'?", Gabriel finally asked.  
"Over my dead body", muttered Beelzebub.  
"Why? It's cute."  
"I'm not cute. I'm the Prince of Hell."  
"A tiny, adorable prince, then."  
"I'M NOT TINY!"


End file.
